Thursday, January 7, 2010

frustrated.

Am now lying in bed. Wide awake at 3am in the morning. (Padan muka siapa suruh tido kol 8 kan!)

Called hubs told him I have a really bad backache. (He's away for audit btw) and his first response was

"Is it time already..?"

Whaaattt??? No laa sayang...I'm only in my 34th week..hehe..this backache is because baring ats katil lama sgt kott..

so anyways..work was super stressful yesterday. Had my personal evaluation with my manager n sr acc. and I ended up walking out the room in tears! Embarassing much!!! Urghh..

Seems like my manager wasn't satisfied with the things I wrote in my evaluation form..no effort as she said...but tell me..I'm juggling 2 teams now..coming as early as 715 in the morning just to make sure my task in my last team is settled before lunch and my new team is now having their month end closing which is super hectic n have to give my fullest attention to everything since the person I'm replacing is resigning very soon..so I must learn the task by heart before she goes or not I'm super dead..and this is my only chance to really understand everything...

Summore my morning sickness is back..I'll just vomit out everything I eat..especially rice and now I can only live on eating roti bakar..which I feel is not enuf coz I'm constantly hungryyyyyy...

How on earth could I concentrate on a 6 page form, with all the above..I only had 15 minutes to do the form before I passed it.. And she expects me to praise myself when I know I didn't did a really good job last year with all my mc's n emergency leaves n all..yes..I know I should think more of myself..not saying that I'm not a good worker..but just saying, by my own standard, I know I could have done more..she said she thinks high of me but when me myself don't think enuf of myself, makes her dissapointed...bla bla bla... Then I dunno why..tears came running down...urghhh...buat malu jer..its not like I wanted to meraih simpati or what but I just couldn't stop.. I guess with everything going on..and my body was really exhausted with work..tu yg jadi mcm tuh..but still...

Excuses.excuses.whatever.

I'm just just so tired and frustrated right now. I wish hubs were here to say everything is ok..sobbss..


*Could stress really cause early labour??? Hmm...mintak laa jauh..*

**teruknya backache ni..adoiiiiii...



Xoxo.

1 comment:

amalkhalid said...

aisyah..jgn stress ok...nk dekat sgt da....btw, take good care of yourself ok...