Tuesday, February 14, 2012

think ahead

i dont come from a rich family.

nor a poor one.

mom and dad both pun government servant.

kitorang diorang hidup alhamdulillah.... boleh dikatakan senang...kami anak2 of course laa dapat tumpang sekaki rezeki parents :)

but dari kecik we were not trained to have everything we want. but we did get everything we need.

and if we did get things we want pun, its because of good grades and good behavior.

my parents were strict. keluar main kat taman after 5 pm (not a minute early) and balik rumah at 7 pm sharp - ayah had a spotlight installed at the balcony of his room, so at 7 sharp he will turn on the spotlight which we can see from the field we were playing at (yes-zaman saya masih bermain masak2 di padang ok) and if we were not back within 5 minutes, mmg ade yg kene "spang" ( means kene pukul kat bontot, but with his hands not rotan - thank god!  but it still hurts ok!)

and we get grounded. always. once I was grounded sbb tak hafal doa qunut..I was grounded till I could recite the doa in front of him - took me 2 days to hafal the doa (coz i was crying most of the time tgk kawan2 main basikal kat luar)..haha..2 days no play time...

and I dont remember watching TV on a school night..I do remember bedtime was 9pm - explains why until now kol 9 jer dah longlai jerr aku nihh..hehhh...

eh lari tajuk plak..

anyways. ayah never failed to provide everything we needed when it comes to our education..

dari kecik, be it from the smallest thing like pocket money, I noticed antara ramai2 kawan, I brought the most pocket money to school, maybe because we had to find our own lunch pun masa tu sbb no maid - masa ade maid kurang sket kot.. but ayah would make sure we had enough money to eat..

to things like co-co uniforms - those things are expensive k! beli kat mr professor tu.. to everything laa...masa kecik2 tak nampak sgt...masa sekolah menengah i think bnyk makanan jer kot..? haha..asrama kan....but once masuk uni...yg mmg betul2 nampak laa

laptop, books (uni books are expensive ya!), car (ok this one is more a luxury, tp ayah nampak as keperluan coz die malas nak g amek hantar every semester..hehe), monthly allowance, extra $$$ bila time projects berlambak - and to top it all off, I didnt get the full student loan - dptlaa suku ptptn tu which only covers yuran pengajian, yuran penginapan pun my father yg bayar... tapi nasib baik laa anak blaja kat PTPA kan.. i cannot say the same for my brother yg blaja kat PTPS - lagi laa giler kan expenses...

masa blaja dulu tak pk sgt kan all this, even masa mula2 kerja, but after kahwin and ade anak sendiri...baru terfikir...

how did my father manage??

i mean like i said both parents pun gomen, sorg cikgu, sorang pensyarah...nak ikut gaji gomen utk tenaga pengajar ni takdelaa tinggi mana kan dulu nak dibandingkan sekrang... (one of the reason my father n mom tak bagi i jadi cikgu! lol!)

start laa bersembangg...and turns out..rupanya ayah buat extra work...all those field works, all those weekends yg pergi sana sini, all those nights mengadap computer siapkan report rupanya is him making extra money for his family...ayah cakap..klu nak harapkan gaji gomen mmg he cannot afford to give us everything that we have...

and he's doing it until now eventho sepatutnya die dah bersara dah pun... he's old, but yet he is still climbing mountains bukit, masuk hutan (once he said ternampak fresh harimau nyer footprints - giler takut dengar), berjemur tengah panas, berjaga malam siapkan reports sebab ape..coz he has another 2 children yg still belajar...he has savings...but he says, selagi ade tenaga selagi tu harus cari duit...coz nowdays semua pun perlu duit...

now now..sebelum mengalir air mata ni..

i would just want to say

1- walaupun yg bekerja gomen tu ckp hidup dah senang - dont - anak kecik lagi mmg laa senang - secure - but when anak dah besar dah start masuk uni.... mase tu laa terasa.. and the reason why i didnt get PTPTN full is coz both parents gomen, maka takleh tipu gaji...pastu takkan laaa bila anak dah start mintak laptop, dah start mintak extra duit untuk project baru nak fikir mana nak cari duit??lagi laa skrg ni, bukan laptop jer, camera laa...handphone laa..

2- jgn kata takde masa nak cari duit lebih - masa tu kita yg tentukan

3- jgn fikir susah sekarang...leceh laa ape... - fikir susah nanti if kita tak buat ape2 skrg....

4- jgn fikir skrg dah senang akan selamanya senang.....

5- jgn harapkan adenya student loan nak bantu anak kita masa kat uni nnti...senang cerita, jgn nak harapkan org lain untuk bantu kita...we can only harapkan diri sendiri..

6- life is not all about the present...its also about the future...

7- tolong laa jgn cakap..alaa...balik kerja dah penat - weekend jer nak rehat - ni dok muda lagi - agak klu skrg ni dah mengadu penat laa takde tenaga laa...agak2 dah masuk 40s nnti tenaga lagi bnyk ke?? tenaga makin bertambah ker?? * opss..tetibe emo* .. takdelaa....like i said, jgn pk skrg jerr...pk kemudian nanti...klu skrg dah susah....nnti2 lagiiiiii susah....

why im writing in points i have no idea... T___T


THINK ABOUT YOUR FUTURE NOW...

WHAT YOU DO NOW WILL DETERMINE WHERE YOU ARE IN THE FUTURE

change now and have a better future...InsyaAllah...


love,
aisyah samsudin

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