Tuesday, June 7, 2011

thinking out loud

Its 2am and I'm wide awake. Already in bed tho, trying to sleep but I keep thinking about things.lots of things..and I dunno why..but I feel like writing it all down..and here is the only place I can think of..

I was thinking about this business. about all the people I've met doing this business..mmg betul org ckp..manusia ni banyak ragam...sometimes I get frustated when people don't have the same opinion or thinking like I do..buy then I think again..its actually vice versa...they must be thinking the same thing as I am..why I have such diff opinions on things than they do..the world is like that...rambut sama hitam tapi hati lain2...I know that I can except that fact but sometimes its hard to get others to understand the same...

For me, its ok if you don't want to join the business..hey its your life..u can do anything with it..its your decision to make...but please do understand that diong the business is my decision for my life..why nak critic? U not doing bisnes is ur choice and me doing business is my choice.fullstop.I can respect ur desicions why can't u respect mine? U don't want to be friends just because I joined this business.then so be it..if that's the case then ur not actually a friend to begin with, so losing a friend or two is not a big deal coz I canr say that they are truly friends anyways.

What I really don't get tho is when some people let others to make the decision for them..I've met people who really wants and need to do the business...but then..the parents say no, the husband says no, the friends say no..then they end up not joining..merely because everybody else says no when actually they know deep inside that they really want this..

Don't get me wrong.I have full respect for my parents and I do ask them for advice, but at the end of the day the decisions are mine... my father always tell me "awak jangan buat ni untuk mak ayah, buat ni untuk awak..nnti ayah mati, ayah takde nak tolong awak.." Harsh. But very true.. Sometimes I get very uncomfortable when my dad talks like that.but I am actually lucky.my father does not protect me from getting hurt or from this ugly world but he let's me bleed and patches me up afterwards..let me learn my mistakes by myself but be there when I am down..and I know he'll support me no matter what...he's actually teaching me life lessons by letting me experience for myself...so i know how to think for myself..making the right decisions for myself because he knows, if he teaches me to rely on him on every single thing..i wont be able to survive if someday, he wont be there for me to rely on...

and as my husband..another blessing from Allah..i am so grateful that he has been supporting me from day one..sure we have our ups and downs..but we always try to communicate what we think and feel as often as we could...let everything be in the open so that any problems could be discussed and be solved..not ignoring the problems... ingat lagi, when i was so scared to tender my notice so that i could focus on this business..hubs ckp..." alaa..paling teruk pun kene istihar bankrupt..bukan mati pun...if u feel strongly about this..u must try it..jgn let it be one of ur what-if's...terpk2 and menyesal bila dah tgk org lain berjaya...bisnes ni actuAlly trial and error...if one way doesnt work,try another way..." for me this is what a husband should be like,,supportive...bukan kondem tak berenti..masak tak betul,,iron baju tak betul..belum buat aoe2 lagi..semua pun tak boleh..semua pun tak betul...but then again..lain org lain ragam kan,,

and then comes the friends...hmmm... i love my friends...i do...but i tell you one thing...our friends are human...fullstop. this is a very sensitive issue and i know a lot of my friends are reading...i'm not saying everybody is bad...but i learned it the hard way..u could only trust yourself and ur family...but hey..i'm not perfect either..i've been at both sides...just equally the same...what u give u get back no?

what i'm getting here is make the decision for yourself..not because someone told you to or not to...at the end of the day..its ur life ur living..not ur parents, not ur husbands and definitely not ur friends...if u are down..would ur friends be the one handing u money? i dont think so..so why listen to them?

business is hard.yes. i am not denying that..its not that u keluarkan modal and puffff...ur super duper rich...u want to be rich..u have to earn it...nothings easy...SPM is hard...ur seniors tell u SPM susah...do u drop out of school? decide to not take the exam? no. u study. u study day and night.do extra class.do extra excersize so u could score and get good results...college and degree is even harder...do u decide not to go to college? no...u work ur ass of on assignments and exams so u could get that segulung ijazah...WORK is stressful!!! do u not work and goyang kaki kat rumah?? no right? u wake up in the morning..go to work..get bambooed by ur manager...but yet u still go to work....rightt??

why?? because c'est la vie! that is life...u do what u must..not what u want...

i just dont get the negative people...so loud and fast putting down other people who wants to do more in life...who wants to have more in life...

but i guess thats the beauty of life...having different opinions..having different emotions..having different everything from others...klu sama jer tak colorful plak hidup kita...

i think ive typed a lot already...i cant tell coz i'm using my blackberry and its so hard to go up and down...hence the typing errors..anyways..cam dah mengantuk...i hope i could sleep lepas ni..klu tak..maybe another entry?


aisyah samsudin

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